JUNE 2020 POSTS

Volunteered for overtime this week. Looking for a fat paycheck. It used to be that I had a skinny paycheck and a fat body. This time I will have a fat body AND a fat paycheck. I like this way better.

On Mon, Jun 22, 2020, 7:46 AM Angel L Centeno <alc6675334@gmail.com> wrote:

I am Angel L. Centeno, (Attorney to late Mr. Edward Sintay). I got your name and contact information in my quest for any of his existing extended family, I am writing you on highly confidential ground with mutual benefit. I'd appreciate if you get back to me by reconfirming your contact details as I'd like to deal directly with you to enable me divulge to you details on why I contacted you.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation. I expect to hear from you asap.

Regards,

Angel L. Centeno

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Dear Mr. Attorney,

Uncle Edward died? Oh, no! I loved him! By all means. Let me provide you with the pertanent information you need.

Full name: David Cintae (legal spelling)

Social Security Number: 555-00-4321

I anticipate you'll need my bank account number: 1122334455. I also anticipate that you will need some money as a down payment for whatever dear cousin Edward left me. Feel free to just access my account and take whatever money you need. I trust you implicitly. That should save us some time.

If that doesn't work, my debit card number can be used. Remarkably, it is the same number as my bank account number (see above). You accept Visa?

The pin number is 4321. I use the pin for all my important accounts. I trust you will keep that a secret? I have thousands of dollars just sitting there that we have been saving as a down payment on a house. Last count (we checked sometime last year) there was $67,333.75 saved.

I don't check the balance very much, so anyone could steal my money and I wouldn't know for months that something was wrong!

My credit card has a $25,000 limit. I just paid it completely off several months ago, so the entire amount is at your disposal. I'm so lucky that the credit card number is the exact same as my bank account and debit card number! (See above).

Anyway, that should help you with freeing up the inheritance that Grandpa Edward left me. Did I mention I loved him dearly?

Oh, and for your efforts, I just want $5000 from my late brother Edward. You can keep the millions that I'm sure he left me.

Best regards!

Dave.

Each weekend as I drive to work, the freeway is packed with campers, trailers hauling boats and other water craft, off-road vehicles aplenty...and it makes me feel sad... that those poor people have to head for the great outdoors instead of working 12-hour shifts in a hot warehouse making doggy treats.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, you poor miserable people, trying your best to "put on a happy face" for the drudgery that lies ahead. Again, please accept my thoughts and prayers in your behalf.

Tonight I discovered a section in the warehouse that I will forever dub the "Go-go Dancer" section. We store Ginger, Amber, Honey, Jasmine, Cinnamon, and Nutmeg there. We also have a pallet of salt. Salt must be the bouncer for the "Go-go Dancer" section.

And now a word from my spirit animal:

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all"

-Thumper Rabbit

"Eating greens is a special treat. It makes long ears and great big feet...but it's really nasty stuff to eat...I made that last part up myself"

-Also Thumper Rabbit

Not sure which is worse: the paper cut, or applying the liquid bandage?

I'm not crying, you're crying

Some days, one can stack pallets with a forklift with ultimate precision, not even touching the side-shift lever. Maneuvering gracefully in and out of tight spots mere inches wider than the lift itself.

Some days, one uses the turn signal to warn the on-coming forklift of directional intentions...forgetting that the lift does not, in fact, have a turn signal lever. It does, however, have the forward and reverse lever in that very spot. What once was moving North is immediately moving South. An experienced operator makes it look intentional. An operator with a music degree lets loose with a high-pitched scream.

The computer screen at work displays two scales that I use to weigh out ingredients. One is called the Major Scale . The other... the Micro Scale. The music major in me finds this totally unacceptable.

I would have also been happy with Ionic Scale and Aeolian Scale, but the software developer was limited in his/her musical knowledge.

Ok, fess up. Who uttered the name of the "Scottish Play" while in the theater?