One Night I Spent a Year in Cincinnati....

"Jump" I yelled a split second before the express elevator started it's descent. Although startled, Darrell jumped. One second he was standing on the floor of the express elevator that went directly to and from the observation deck of the Twin Towers, the next moment I was staring at his belt buckle which was now eye level! It worked! The timing was impeccable. As the floor went down, Darrell went up.

"Oh, man!" Darrell said after he had landed, his eyes wide. "Did you see that?"

I was leaning up against the sides of the elevator laughing.

"You should have seen your face!" I say. I'm having trouble breathing because I'm laughing so hard. "Did that surprise you or what?" 

 You see....Darrell had it coming. A couple days before we had reached New York, we stayed overnight in Cincinnati, Ohio. For some reason we experienced a tremendous amount of problems finding a motel. There just happened to be some sort of convention going on in the city, and all the motels were booked up for the night.


We literally spent hours searching before stopping at a run-down motel that advertised vacancies. 


Walking inside, I was surprised to find the desk clerk behind a plexiglass partition. 


"What can I do for guys?" he asks with a bored expression.


For some strange reason, Darrell starts tapping me on the shoulder. I turn and look at him.


"Uh...did you notice the prices?" he asks. He has a funny expression on his face.


I really wasn't in the mood to argue about the price of a motel room in a city that seemed completely booked up. I was irritated that Darrell was going to quibble about the price of a room.


"Yes, I see the prices!" I snap. "I really don't feel like trying to find another place, so we're getting a room here!  I really don't care about the prices!"


"What I mean is...did you see the PRICES?" he asks again. I love the man like a brother, but I was losing my patience fast.


"Seriously? We're getting a room...end of story!" I say with finality.....and perhaps a little hostility.


Darrell shakes his head like I'm a huge idiot.


"O.K. man. Have it your way." He goes out to the van and starts to grab our stuff.


"How long will you be staying?" asks the clerk with a smirk.


Why was the clerk smirking?


"We'll check out in the morning." I say as I hand over the credit card.


I return to the van and help Darrell with our stuff. The clerk has given us a room on the second floor. But I'm not about to complain, seeing that it really is our last option.


The room looks fairly normal. Two double beds are arranged in the small room. I choose the one closest to the door. Throwing my luggage on the bed, I'm surprised by a funny sound. 


Pulling back the covers and the sheets, I'm surprised to find a thick plastic bed cover protecting the mattress. 


Darrell is looking at me.


"That's why I asked if you saw the prices. This motel charges by the HOUR."


"Wha...?" Then it hits me. There's only one reason for a motel to charge by the hour.

"You realize that he thinks we're a couple?" Darrell says with a smirk. I realize now why the clerk was smirking.


But it really was the last option, so against both of our better judgement, we decide to risk it.


Longest night of my life. Cars were pulling in and out of the parking lot. Voices and other sounds came from the rooms adjacent to ours. At one point a loud pounding on our door jolts us awake, then the sound of someone trying the door knob.


"Dave, hand me the gun and stay low!" Darrell yells loudly. The pounding and knob turning abruptly quits and is replaced by sounds of footsteps running away.


Needless to say, Darrell teased me without mercy for several days after this little adventure, and I was officially banned from choosing motel rooms.


The elevator trick was only a small victory, but I needed a victory very badly after Cincinnati.