"Oh, no." Julies answers emphatically. "He NEVER EVER answers his phone."
"Neither does Gary" says Pam.
Both of then shrug their shoulders and shake their heads like my brother and I are the strangest creatures on earth.
"How do you get Dave to get chores done? Do you make a list? Gary just ignores the list." asks my sister-in-law.
"We have a porch light that has been out for six months. Dave is the only one tall enough to reach it, but it's still out." says Julie.
"When Willis retired a couple months ago" interjects my mom "I thought of all the projects we could get done, but all he does is go fishing."
Now, you might think that this conversation, which actually took place right in front of Gary, my dad and I made me uncomfortable and embarrassed.
Nothing can be further from the truth.
"See?" I say to my wife triumphantly. "It's not just me, it's hereditary!"
Julie and I were the last of the family to move out of Oregon. My parents and most of my siblings live in Utah where we have recently moved. So for all these years, Julie thought that I was doing everything on purpose. Now that we're constantly around family, she can see that I have quirky habits because of genetics. It's not my fault.
"I bet Dave and Gary can't name all of Becky's (my sister on the east coast) kids" says my youngest sister Jaimie.
"I bet I can't either" says Gary.
"How many kids does Becky have?" I ask.
"Is it all girls, or do they have a boy?" asks Gary.
"That's why you get married, so you don't have to remember stuff" says Stewart.
Genetics.
Of course, Julie knows the names of all of my sister's kids.
Sitting on the couch, I have removed my wedding band and I am tossing it up in the air and catching it. My goal is to barely ping it off the ceiling. Gary is laying on the floor throwing a rubber duck up in the air. His kids are trying to take the duck away. My dad is throwing a Lego block between the rotating ceiling fan blades. Stewart (my brother) is not throwing anything in the air. It's his house we're all at.
"I got banned from throwing stuff" he says sadly as he watches us. "I knocked a couple of things down."
Genetics.
"Julie actually quizzes me about our conversations when we're traveling" I say.
"Well, you never talk, so I don't know if you're listening" says Julie.
"Gary just nods. Our car rides would be silent unless I say something" says my sister-in-law.
"I know" says Julie. "We can travel all the way to Hood River and Dave won't say ten words."
"Willis will be silent for hours, then out of the blue 'look at that rock formation'" says my mom. "Of all the things to talk about as we travel and Willis talks about rocks."
Gary, Stewart and I all perk up.
"What kind of rock formation was it dad?" asks Gary.
Genetics.
