Dave's handy steps to follow when you find yourself sliding sideways down a ramp on a top-heavy forklift because some idiot dropped flour on the ramp and failed to clean it up.
1. Panic. Experts say not to panic in this type of situation, but you're going to panic regardless, so you might as well get on with it.
2. Press harder and harder on the brake hoping that it will slow your descent. It won't, but you'll feel better about trying.
3. Remember your training from driver's ed that says something about turning into your skid.
4. Remember too late that you're on a rear-steer vehicle so that information is useless.
5. Warn your fellow workers will a high-pitched scream. A word of warning. Instead of being thankful for your thoughtfulness regarding their safety, you might get smart-alecky remarks like, "I didn't know you sing soprano" or "was that the fire alarm?" or " you better check your underwear".
6. Check your underwear.
7. Think bad thoughts the rest of your shift about punching the flour-spiller in the nose.
Nooooooooo! My wife's OCD is finally rubbing off on me! Just tore a piece of paper in half to make a quick note and THREW IT AWAY AND REDID IT BECAUSE IT WAS AN UNEVEN TEAR!
What is happening to my perfectly oblivious life? Please, please don't tell me I'm going to start (shudder)...noticing stuff? Become aware of my surroundings?
(Clicking heals) There's no place like home...there's no place like home...wake up...wake uuuupppp!
12 hours of work, then it's off to the cabin we reserved. First trip in...I don't even remember. Probably a year and a half, if not two. Hopefully that changes. I've been a dreamer stuck in a horribly practical world without color.
Hope y'all have a C to F. I'll be running a Fork Lift in a hot warehouse, so it won't be a Bb to Eb for me.
My inner voice: "You're over 50 now. We gotta eat better. You're not a kid anymore. So we're going to go into the store, grab a healthy salad, some fruit, maybe bite-sized Snickers as a reward....DORITOS ON SALE FOR $1.99? BUY IT! BUY IT! Come on, Chubby boy. Who are we kidding?You know it's too late for us!"
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