Bakery Dave's Guide to Enjoying Your Christmas Fruitcake

 

You'll need a few extra ingredients to add to your Christmas fruitcake to make it not only bearable, but enjoyable and tasty too.

1) Marshmallows.
2) Graham Crackers.
3) Rum.
4) Chocolate.
5) Butane lighter.
6) Wire hanger or willow stick.

First - Take fruitcake and soak it in a healthy amount of rum -- the higher the alcohol content the better in this case. 

Second - using the butane lighter, set fire to the rum and fruitcake mixture. 

Third - using the wire hanger or willow stick (whichever is handy) toast the marshmallow over the blazing fruitcake/rum mixture. 

Fourth - make a s'more with the toasted marshmallow, graham crackers, and chocolate. 

Fifth - eat s'more and if you are so inclined, finish off the bottle of rum. 

Sixth - sweep up ash remains of fruitcake and throw in the garbage.

Warning - DO NOT put any fruitcake in your mouth either before or after setting it on fire. You have been warned.

Enjoy!